Recovered Post: Ostara Then and Now

Oh, the Wheel of the Year. Wiccan or not, most pagans know at least, in various degrees and terminology, these holidays.

I know them by name, and more or less their position on the calendar, as well as some facts about them, but I am completely honest when I say I am unfamiliar with them. I’ve only celebrated a handful of times in the decade I’ve studied, and most of those incidents were not in recent years. However, as I really delve into living this life, I’m trying hard to really experience them and make up my own mind.

Ostara holds a special nostalgic place in my heart. See, technically the first ritual I observed with the Student Pagan Organization at my college was Yule, but there wasn’t much of a ritual to it (or that I was invited to?). It was more a party.

Ostara 2007 was the first ritual I actively participated in. That was when the group was at its most active, and before any problem makers reared their heads. I invited my best friend to it, and while she was just there as an observer, it was wonderful to have her and my new friends in the same place having fun. I don’t remember all that we did, but as we stood in the circle, each person had a chance to address all the other members and compliments and other inspiring things. It was such a beautiful series of moments, watching these people’s faces light up, blush, happy tearing up, and share kindness and love, as the sun beat down and the wind fluttered around.

So that’s why it’s fitting Stars in the Void’s first post  is to be about Ostara: new beginnings, the rebirth of sunshine, golden memories.

I’m not going to go over Ostara lore and practicalities, but you can find where I’ve done some online research over on my pinterest.

Ideas I’m going to try to do this Ostara:

1.       Greet the sunrise, preferably with a tea or coffee

2.       Make eggs for breakfast and enjoy them with the kids

3.       Take a candle to each room of the house and take a moment to breathe

4.       Plant 6 seeds, and with each seed, associate it with a goal I want to accomplish this year

5.       Take a moment at each sunstation (sunrise, solar noon, sunset) to meditate or pray

6.       Have the kiddos pick out seeds and then bless them on my altar.

7.       Tarot Reading

At the Autumn Equinox I did a ritual about keeping the fire burning in me (a sort of attempt to get away from seasonal depression) and I want to do a similar ritual here, to tie together the year and also bring balance, which is something my life doesn’t usually have and I have to struggle to grasp.

This was originally a second post, but I’m adding it here.

Ostara: A somewhat beginning

So even after all my plans and thoughts, I was unable to do a single thing for the Spring Equinox.

I had bought everything on my list, and just needed to assemble some things, finish a few other things. My altar was mostly decorated, and I had most of a ritual in place, down on paper and ready to polish.

And then the days leading up to it…well, to put it nicely, sucked. There was some work and personal issues that I exhausted all my energy dealing with each day, and I literally had maybe ten minutes a day to myself from the moment I woke up to the moment I started getting ready for bed. The most free time I had, I was driving and couldn’t work on anything except my road rage.

The 19th, I woke up late and immediately had to get ready for my sister’s baby shower, and help out with last minute touches. And then the actual shower, and then from there it was to the salon for group haircuts, and then from there, I went home to help tidy up before company came over, and then I was so tired I went to sleep.

The 20th was not a good day. Some of those previous issues came back up and the day was not fun.

Now, several days later, I still haven’t even touched my Ostara supplies except to move them off to the table so we can eat.

And yet…I don’t feel as bad I thought  I would.

Yes, I have the “Bad Pagan” thoughts in those brief transitions from one thought to another. Yes, I have a bit of regret that I couldn’t (wouldn’t?)  carve time out for it. But overall, I’m okay with it.

Because, for once, I am in tune with the equinox. I’ve felt the changes from the wind and sun inside my body and my mind. I feel alive with the possibilities growing around me, and I can feel the sunshine glowing in my breath. I am embodying the spirit of the holiday, and that is something worth celebrating.

I will still do some of the activities I had planned, and I will strive harder to have a more dedicated adherence to the festivities. However, I know that I’m closer to the spiritual life I want even without it.

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